I should stop feeling sorry for myself. :<
Posts tagged pain
This is an important lesson to remember when you’re having a bad day, a bad month, or a shitty year. Things will change: you won’t feel this way forever. And anyway, sometimes the hardest lessons to learn are the ones your soul needs most. I believe you can’t feel real joy unless you’ve felt heartache. You can’t have a sense of victory unless you know what it means to fail. You can’t know what it’s like to feel holy until you know what it’s like to feel really fucking evil. And you can’t be birthed again until you’ve died.
Today, I realized that I have become so effective at hiding the fact that I am stressed that even I myself do not realize I am stressed until someone asks me what is going on in my life.
While I was talking to her, I noticed that my voice sounded like I was almost about to cry. Fortunately I was able to hold back my tears.
I’m going insane over here.
- Me: *Clicks text icon on Tumblr*
- Me: *Clicks cancel*
Sometimes silence is a habit that hurts.
I currently have this pain in my upper tongue that I do not really notice unless I’m eating or drinking…
…it drives me insane, but at the same time, it encourages me to eat only when I am absolutely hungry.
So today in Academic Decathlon, I started to talk about how difficult middle school was mentally, socially, and psychologically… when I realized that I couldn’t do it.
I just couldn’t stop thinking about how there are so many students out there who had it worse than I did, and how I would sound like a complete b!+(# as well as a weak individual if I did tell them what I been through.
But it’s a part of me that I really need to share with just one person outside of my family. I just want at least one person to know that I am not the type of individual that everyone thinks I am: always happy, always laughing, carefree, etc.
And I would like to explain all the details, without the fear of crying in front of him or her, without the fear of breaking eye-contact, and without the fear of losing confidentiality.
Just because I’m always smiling, does not mean I’m unable to feel pain or anger.